Let’s Talk About It…Let’s Face It…Darling(s)


To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

Friedrich Nietzsche

There’re many issues in our everybody’s everyday’s life. We speak of them s’times seldom and not in general. The primary reason for this is what’ll be other thinking or what’ll be other saying or what’ll be my image; that’s why we keep our mouth tight lipped. Another reason is it’s my problem, not yours…let me face it alone.

Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place then come down and shoot the survivors.–Ernest Hemingway

Yes, darling(s), everyone has own fight to fight, but, actually, it’s good to speak to someone regarding your fight. I don’t know how it’ll sound but that “someone” shouldn’t be your Papa or Mama or Didi or Dada but it should be a dear friend of yours.

There are friendships merely for pleasure, some for the exchange of ideas. Rarest are those friends of one’s inmost self.–Baltasar Gracian

Now don’t say you don’t have friends or a “friend”. Remember there’ll be always one person, among many (for extrovert) or few (for introvert like me) whom you had befriended a long ago will be there; you two might not talk for what one month, two month or a year or more than that, but, subtlety he or she will be there, if, you two don’t have a bad argument on an issue; if you two have so and still lingering with that then know that two of you are craving for another fight off to clear yourself out (just remember that scene from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara where the characters Arjun and Imraan played respectively by Hrithik Roshan and Farhan Akhtar reconcile by hugging and crying on each other shoulder).

Friendship multiplies blessings and…soothes the soul.–Baltasar Gracian

S’time a guy or a girl can also be a listener and consultant for your apathy whom you’ve befriended a few days ago. S’where I had read long ago that it’s our human psychology that leads us to talk to less acquainted person often like we know each other for a long time.

I had become a friend to a girl who was going through the same phase as I was. We befriended each other from Facebook through a common friend. She used to speak of the length of her ex while I used to of mine. She’s already in a relationship, but, somehow she was struck with her ex. Now when I see her with her present boyfriend, they though are engaged but, still, she’s in dilemma and on her insistence I called that guy her boyfriend, I feel if she hadn’t opened up to me then this beautiful moment would have been a dream.

…man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.– Fyodor Dostoevsky

Now, I’m going to talk on one issue that we’ve all face once, twice or more in our life. It’s the Depression. Yes, depression. Now, don’t make a face or just curse me under the breath by thinking here’s come another depressive piece of writing (for those who’re not depressed) or don’t say “oh man…leave it…it’s my fight…I don’t need your consultation…” and turned your face away (for those who are depressed and have closed all the vent to be out).

You say you’re ‘depressed’ – all I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.–David Mitchell

I’m making it clear at this moment I’m not here to consult you or to write an article on the depression; I just want to share my ideas with all of you to pass this phase and also help others. If you have anything to say or comment you can, I might sound rude and I apology beforehand for that, use the comment box–here and on Facebook.

We face depression from different aspects of the life. I’ll focus on the most common aspect. Heartbreak.

Funny this word “heartbreak” is you know and when am saying this I’m not mocking at the situation but at the term. Our hearts are not a piece of fine glass that it’ll get shattered so easily; it’s just a perspective which we need to understand at first. It’s actually the situation that breaks or had broken us down. Making us a different person and s’times pushing us into the deep corner of life or whatever came to your mind; this is very bad darling, very bad.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.–Franz Kafka

Yes, lie down for few days, keep to yourself, but, don’t made it a habit because remember today is the most important day of your life and that today shouldn’t be far fetched or shouldn’t be thrown out outside your life. Take me, for example–I can feel some of my dear readers now saying “now, he’s going to tell his story of depression…”

Experience is knowledge. All the rest is information.–Albert Einstein

Yes, I’m going to because I had been lying low for days and now I don’t want to. I was depressed for long as the girl I love (and she also) left me–I fuck the reason though it matters most few weeks (or might be a couple of months) ago, and, I’ll not deny the fact that s’times I want to know still now–it’s hard to get over the thing we became attached to, but, it’s the will that can let it happen; so search for the reason has faded a little and it might  vanish  s’times after. Don’t push yourself just let it happen as if it’s a moment in a day when we’re feeling low.

Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes…Swami Vivekananda

So, I was depressed and I thought its the end. Then one fine September night as I was smoking standing at my balcony I saw the moon and thought it’s alone, I’m also. But, there’s this its silver light it emits that everybody love. I came back to my room and looked at her photographs on my laptop. Then suddenly an idea struck me. It’s the “burn the photo and flush it” (thanks, Imitiaz Ali). I used the four keys–Ctrl, A, Shift and Delete. Yes, I had stopped before hitting the second button and also on the fourth key, but, I did that. Then I open up a Microsoft Word and started writing.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one…–Mark Twain

From this, I want to say kick the butt of the sufferings of yours and delve into what you love or what makes you feel excited. It might be cooking, might be painting. Yes, it’s hard at first ’cause you’ll hear his (her) voice complimenting you or halting you to ask the reason for the step you had taken while performing what you were doing. I had also face that situation, I had been also halted, but, then I took a deep breath and release it and continued what I was doing–writing it was and is.

If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person…–Fred Rogers

After taking care of your hobby or passion, even, if you feel nothing’s happening, take up a diary and start writing on your feelings–in one-word start maintaining a journal. I know, few of you will like this or want to this. But, maintaining a journal didn’t need literatural ability. You can write in the way you want.

When I say writing, O believe me, it is rewriting that I have chiefly in mind.— Robert Louis Stevenson

Not long before one of my sisters was feeling very much depressed. I asked her, pushed her, to write. And after few hours, she replied she was feeling well. The advice, then, I gave it to her, will also give it to you, don’t read the entry next day or day after.

If you want, read it after a week or a month or a year, but, not for next few days after you had written the entry. When you’ll go back to the entry after few times and will tally that entry with a recent one, you’ll find you change man or woman.

The free exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world.–John Steinbeck

I s’times do this, reading my entry from last year or year before that and surprisingly often I find out or came out of the solution I’m going through at the moment. So, took up a pen and start writing a journal–create a world in words where you belongs and where you’ll not allow anyone even if you fall in love again. Keep this in your mind darling(s) even though it sounds like…say narcissist; but, you should keep a certain portion of yours to you.

Talk to yourself at least once in a Day. Otherwise, you may miss a meeting with an excellent person in this World…–Swami Vivekananda

So this is it for today. I’ll write few more ways to cope with this situation name depression. I’ll talk about few more approaches to the foolish things we do after heartbreak. Hope my blog will imbue you with new hopes.

Remember that the biggest gap in the world is between ‘I should’ and ‘I did.’–H. Jackson Brown, Jr

By Sangbad

A poet, an author, a reviewer--in one word I'm a literaturist (means one who is trying almost everything that Literature is made of). My books are available at Amazon. I'm a Bengali, born and raised in Kolkata, West Bengal.


  1. Dear Sangbad, you had put forth your interest to connect with Candles Online for quite sometime. It was my bad that I contacted so late… Do you want to contribute articles to Candles Online? If so then email to: ‘write4candles@gmail.com’ so that I can send you the details about how we function.
    It’s a great post by the way…


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