Three: A Repertoire of January Nights

 

[Written after Message In The Bottle: End Of An Exile & before and after When My Mind Teased Me: A Day After Am Out of Veil]

 

–1–

So you’ve come…Come here quickly, inside the quilt. It’s cold outside.

No, no need to get undress, darling, just come and let me embrace you, let me kiss you.

Yes…I’ve been waiting for this a long…actually whole day…entire eve…you’re sleepy…

Sleep, my little angel, sleep…here, see, I had kissed you a good night on your forehead…

Now let me touch your lips before I stroke your hair to make you fall asleep…

You know my friends, my colleagues, my well-wishers say I’m exaggerating your loss;

They say I should move on; yes, I’m trying hard to forget you, to come in term–

Of your absence…No…I’ll not stop…Because it’s the truth, right…

This…this repertoire…repertoire will not stop how much I try…

(Because) The comfort, the solace is your presence in my arms…

So sleep my darling…though there’s a number of miles between our beds…

You’re right now in s’one else embrace and me with the memories of yours…of ours…

–2–

The vacant place (though) s’time strangle me, but, I can’t die–

Because for the long I have, after you leave me for the ever, to fall in love again…–

Even she break my heart, though it’s already a shattered glass frame–

The frame that used to hold the coming days we had dreamt of–

I’ll not feel sad ’cause you have made me already a man without a heart–

The heart that has been locked away in a chest of broken and unfulfilled wishes–

And the key is the time that has turned to a mulch on a time where you’ll be not…

Apology my friends, my colleagues, my well-wishers,–

If you want, you can curse me…curse..damn me..damn…but…

This repertoire is keeping me in a touch with the reality, pushing me to live at fullest…

And the tiredness that is curtaining my eyes now is result of the blue warmth–

Of the failed dream (which) once we both had dreamt of…

–3–

Sleep darling…sleep…wherever you are…whomever with you are…

We’ll meet again might be some day, years from now…

We’ll (though) make love when your memoirs will get hold of me…

Now, let me sleep oh my muse, oh my love…come darkness of the night,–

Come silence of the vacant…assassinate me so that I can struggle to live…–

To live for another day and coming days without her…come…strangle me…

Apology my friends, my colleagues, my well-wishers,–

If you want, you can curse me…curse..damn me..damn…

 

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