Episode 4: Chapter 2 (1)

Recap: Sangbad was admitted to the local school Silver Star. There he befriended  Priyotosh, Saibal, and Anushka on the first day. 

~~2002~~

It was an April morning.

The small iron gate of Bhattacharjee brothers’ three-store building flung open as Sangbad jumped on the road. He’s now a thirteenth years old boy. In last two years, he had lost his weight and had gained height. From 5 foot 2 inch he’s now 5 foot 5 inch.

He looked around. He was searching Cork, his pet stray dog—he was a white dog with black spots spreads over his body.

The clinking of the gate with the aloud metallic noise had brought his pet running form Pradip Kaka’s tea shop—wagging his tail and jumping in excitement. He was followed by Buri—an aged female dog followed by three of her puppies.  All surrounds him in excitement; the puppies jumped on his polished shoe. He was going to stoop down to pat them when he was stopped.

“Don’t pat him now…” Aparajita screamed as she came out with his water bottle.

“No…I’m not…” He snatched the bottle from his mother’s hand.

The two elderly dogs looked at her with disturbance in their eyes; the puppies understanding they had to leave the way moved towards their mother.

“So what’s the plan for the birthday boy…” Bikash Kaka asked while opening his stall.

He owned the cycle repairing stall adjacent to his house. He was a man in early forties.

“Nothing…Didi might arrange a surprise…I think…” he replied as the puppies seeing him to stand started gathering around him—one also stand up supporting on his leg.

“How is your Didi…” Bikash Kaka enquired while opening one of the six locks of his stall.

“She’s fine…still recovering…” He replied.

The conversation got interrupted as Samir Kaka called him. It was his duty for last two years to drop him at school in the morning. At evening he returns home alone. He bid Bikash Kaka and pat the little pup who was standing supporting on his leg—this action made his Ma screamed again—and ran to Samir Kaka to board on his cycle carrier.

In these two years Silver Star had extended itself.

 It had started having its class at second floor also. The stair from first floor the to second floor led to two balconies-one straight from the stair and another taking a left turn. The balcony, straight from stair, had two rooms. One used to serve a as library and another one used to remain closed. The balcony also had a small roof which was kept close for safety by a grill iron gate. From the balcony the Rathtala bus stand can be seen vividly.

The left of the stair had a spacious balcony with four rooms and a toilet. The odd one out of this floor was the store room. It was a tiny square one; sitting towards the end of the second floor spacious balcony abruptly. It had two rooms on either sides of it while the girls’ toilet was located the on left of it at a distance of approx thirty hands while the balcony lays on its right side.

The room that it had in adjacent, with gap of twenty hands between it and the room was the largest one. It was the only room to had two exit doors. One towards the store room and another towards the part of the balcony which was actually a narrow alley facing the courtyard of the school. From there a bit of the busy Kasba Street can be seen.

On another side the room was the smallest one of the floor. The peculiarity of the room was a big window at corner towards a closed wall and a pair of winds overlooking the field downstairs. Another peculiarity of the room was the space near these windows was a depressed planned platform with a flight of concrete stair.

The fourth room on the floor was another largest one. I’ll talk of it later because the description is not needed at this moment.

Cont’d…

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14 thoughts on “Episode 4: Chapter 2 (1)

  1. Um.. you seem to like feedback about writing so here’s some (everybody is a critic huh? 🙂 ) I think you have a fantastic story in there but that story can use some more editing and tweaking. You got patience man, I can never find it in me to stick with so many words. I’ll be waiting for the future posts.

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    1. ☺ dhyanabaad…se ektu ache re: patience…ota dorkaar jani re:editing…i love it re: feedback…ota na pele bhulgulo bujhte para jaena…r alochona na hole lekha jae na…i love to discuss…tai Let’s Talk blockta kora…want to tell mine & in return want to hear yours…samay pele dkhe neo…re: future posts every Saturday new Episode r every Thursday reoeat post…r chapter sesh hole Wednesday raate story so far…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You start the episode with something happening, but not much, and before it turns into a scene we can get hold of you start describing the interior of the school. To my mind it’s too chopped up. There needs to be a point for each scene. Why doesn’t his mother want him to touch the dogs, for example? They seem to be central to the scene. These details, the human ones are more interesting to the reader than the size or position of a school room.

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    1. All will be reveal slowly & steadily…regarding the room position I was skeptical of this portion…I had tried to justify the line of how the school grew into size in the two years from one floor few rooms to two floor more room…

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      1. There are probably more subtle ways of doing it than just sticking in a chunk of info like that. Why not wait until he is in the school, going to his class, and just say how much bigger it has got since he started there two years previously. Put the info in with a part of the action rather than stopping the action to give us a guided tour.

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    1. It’s feel great that I’ve been able to create the illusions that I intended to…this is a bio-fi…few events, few conversation are real while most’re not…on the mystery wait ’til next Sat…

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