Monday Gu(e)st: S II: 5. The Clingy Period-Asiya

 

There was a hiatus in posting the Guest Post because I was not accessing my WP from my lappy but from my cell phone. Yes, most of the posts were wrote on the cell phone and posted from there. 

Here I’m with the Season 2 of my Monday Gu(e)st–a name I came up for this session. This season I’ll kick off the season with a Mama post. Yes, you heard it right. But, the post I’m going to share is not what everyone might be thinking of. This Mama of two is very much cool and writes with such elan you’ll like her at once. So, let’s the guest speak.

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The Clingy Period-Asiya

 

I am going insaaaaaane. This kid is sooo needy.

Well yeah I know it’s normal, they face separation anxiety blah blah blah, but seriously do you need to cling to my leg while I move 1mm to scratch my toes?You’d think I was an astronaut about to leave on a 35-year mission (ha if only I was smart enough).

‘Aww it’s so cute’ you might say

No. Just no.

His need to constantly touch me to say ‘you are still stuck with me hahaha’ or poking my eyes out to make sure his face is the last face I see before I become permanently blind, is just totally cute 😑. I thought that was bad until he learned the stick next to mum weeing is a large toothbrush! Thank god it didn’t actually touch his mouth before I screamed, whacked the brush, which backfired and hit me in the eye. Yes, my eyes are cursed and I’m already partially blind as it is, with a prescription of a deathly -4.75 (aka the real blind bat) with astigmation (aka crossed eyed blind bat). So the one time I decide to take off my glasses, a blurry toilet brush stabs me in the eye. It’s just perfect. The universe has literally put shit in my eye. And you know what, I used to like the damn loo cause that’s where I run to scoff a snickers bar before the 70cm superglue locates my whereabouts. Nope, not even ashamed to admit it. I ain’t about to share my Snickers bar to a migit that doesn’t appreciate it thank you very much.

If he’s not clinging to my legs, he’s dangling on my right (now permanently sticking out) hips whilst using my ponytail as handles or doing something he shouldn’t. It’s either that or watch him cry. Like the one time, he had a meltdown at Carrefour (a supermarket in Dubai if you didn’t know) so I picked him up to calm him down a bit and to repay me he decided to pull down my t-shirt to reveal all the wobbly bobbly bits to the cashier and entire 7 blocks of customers in queues. Needless to say, I was mortified!

The worst part is he only sleeps during the night with me. Some people prefer letting their kids learn to sleep in their own crib by whatever method best, but unfortunately no method works for me and I’m the type that can’t stand the constant crying at night. It makes me think of crazy things like how many sausages would I need to make a stable ladder to escape out from the window and leg it? Probably not even possible. Imagine they start air frying due to heat and burn my feet :O.  Sheeeet. Ok, back to what I was saying, so co-sleeping with my little monster means being kicked, punched and you guessed it, POKED IN THE EYES 84739 times!

However, I have heard other similar mummy stories so maybe it is a universal undercover mission to see how long it takes to crack mummy. There is no way it’s a phase cause it’s bloody never ending.

In his defense, we are in a different country from our family back in the UK, therefore it does get lonely. And we did pick one hell of a location, Dubai, where your face will burn off if you open your front door. I’d be clinging to double D’s if it’s giving some shade too.

It’s not all gloom and doom, I’ve found some excellent hiding places at home, Carrefour will never see my face again (at least not the Emirates Mall branch) and I know my kid loves me more than his dad.

Originally Posted–August 2016

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Author Bio:

Asiya is the mother of two–Bubba and Bambi. She lives in Dubai with her husband, a Bengal cat, a husky, couple of fishes and 6 turtles. She started the blog Mamabasic to fight her loneliness and also to have a journey through words. Pay a visit to her blog to know her more.

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I’m a sort of voracious blog reader–some of you may know that already as I regularly comment on your posts which I like most. So, this Guest Post will be the post which I’ll find need more to read. I’ll ask your permission beforehand. And you’re permitted to do changes and suggest me how to post it before I post it. 

If you want your post to be my Guest Post, you can pingback me or left a link to this week Guest Post or you can do both. I’ll definitely read it and if I like the post it will be posted. 

Waiting to read more interesting posts from you all.

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