Arrival (Micro Science Fiction)

 

The noon sun had tilted a little from its position. The ship had docked not long ago. The cargo was getting unload. Suddenly an interrupted siren caught e’one’s attention. Before a reaction triggered off, a large impact of explosion heard and shook the sea and the dock. The ones, hundreds or more, there were extinguished in a blink leaving no trace–no charred bones, no ashed body. In the exploded black smoked sunlight they came out. A quartet of flesh-red colored figures–an amalgamation of a human and a gorilla with five fingers in each limbs and big head with small eyes.

#e’one is my shorthand for everyone.

fatima-fakier-deria1
PC Fatima Fakier Daria

For The Friday Fictioneers by Rochelle Wisoff

Daily Prompt: Territory

Advertisements

22 Comments Add yours

  1. I love the picture at the top. It’s very appropo. I like the concept and enjoyed the story. I’m wondering if English may be your second language? I only mention it because you seem to have trouble with verb tenses and contractions. Since I have no second language, I’m not criticizing, just curious.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sangbad says:

      Yes Melody, English is my second language…and am learning from reviews of all to find where am making err and how to improbe

      Like

  2. Since you asked:

    The cargo was getting unload…it would be more immediate to say “The cargo was unloaded.” (ed added to make it past tense.) Simply “A siren caught everyone’s attention. Before anyone could react…”a reaction triggered off” doesn’t make sense. It would also make more sense to say “Hundreds or more disappeared without a trace–no charred…” and “After the explosion the sunlight shone through the black smoke. “sunlight they came out” is confusing”
    Fingers would be on hands…each limbs makes me think they had fingers coming from their arms and legs.

    I feel like I’m being rough and critical but I don’t mean to be. I’m answering your question to the best of my ability.
    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS You may delete this exchange if you wish. I’ll understand.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sangbad says:

      thank you Rochelle for pointing out the mistakes…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. granonine says:

    Oh! Unexpected–I didn’t realize we were in for sci-fi, went back and looked again and realized you’d made it plain. Good job.

    Like

    1. Sangbad says:

      Thanks Ma’am for this appreciation on my attempt…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s